Being a Titus 2 Woman - Kindness

Today we are talking about the 6th virtue included in the Being a Titus 2 Woman series. This series is based off of the book Feminine Appeal, which shares 7 virtues of a Godly wife and mother from Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Now we have to remember that the goal of demonstrating these virtues in our lives is so "that the word of God may not be reviled." Also, we need to remember that we are sinners and we are going to fail at living out these virtues day in and day out. We need the grace of God and the Holy Spirit working in us and through us everyday!

Today we are talking about Kindness. Now, for me personally I have always been a kind person who loves to serve others in many different ways. However, sometimes I forget why I am doing acts of kindness and have a sinful motivation. I think that before I was saved I was kind because it made ME feel good. However, now that I am a Christian, I should be kind because I am commanded by God to be kind, because it benefits the other person, and because it spreads the Good News of the Gospel!

Now, kindness isn't just about what you do outside of your home. We are commanded to be kind inside of our homes! This is sometimes the hardest place to be kind. Carolyn says it this way (pg. 118),

You see, I thought of myself as a compliant, easy-going individual who hardly ever got angry. I naturally assumed that I would treat my new husband and future children with more kindness, love, and gentleness than I showed anyone else. Obviously, I was wrong.

If you are a wife and mother, I am willing to bet that you too have been shocked by the resentment or hostility you've felt (and most likely manifested) toward your own family members. Maybe you sometimes wonder as I did: What happened to the kind, compassionate person I used to be?

I too thought like Carolyn when I got married. I was so nice to everyone else, I was sure I would be more nice to my husband! Right? No! I am so surprised sometimes at the sinful anger and downright meanness I show to my husband sometimes, especially earlier in our marriage.

However, thank goodness that God does not let me sit in my sin and deal with it myself, because I wouldn't be able to and I would still be just as mean and angry. Thank goodness that God gives me the Bible and the Holy Spirit to guide me and mold me into a kind and love wife (And hopefully mother soon!).

Carolyn gives us a definition of kindness as (pg. 120), "a sincere desire for our husbands' and children's happiness." What a wonderful thing for women and mothers to be desiring! This is what I want for my life, and I am sure the same is for you!

So, what are some of the main things that hinder us from showing kindness? "Three sins that often obstruct this godly desire are anger, bitterness, and judging" (pg. 120). I have seen each of these sins live in my life and hold me back from being kind.

So, let's look at scripture's solution for each of these sins (pg. 121-126),

ANGER

James 4:6-10 gives us a very direct solution, we must humble ourselves and submit to God. We must humbly confess and repent! Then, with God's help, we can turn from anger and instead nurture kindness.

BITTERNESS

Ephesians 4:31-32 gives us again a very direct solution, we need to put all bitterness away from us! "So instead of dwelling on how we've been wronged, let us entreat the Holy Spirit to help us look at the cross. As we meditate on the undeserved mercy of God in forgiving our sins, we will freely grant forgiveness and kindness to our husbands and children" (pg. 123).

JUDGING

1 Corinthians 13:7 helps us find a solution for judging. "If we become conscious of believing the worst about our husbands and children, we must confess our lack of love for them to God. When we repent from judging, we will gain fresh passion for our families' happiness" (pg. 125).

Through the grace of God and the intervention of the Holy Spirit, we can become kind women who are desiring our families' happiness! Amen!

Between a one and a ten on the "kind-o-meter," how would you have rated yourself before marriage and/or motherhood? What about now?

You can view all the posts in the series by visiting the Series Index.

For more information about the book, Feminine Appeal, visit Crossway, our series Partner.

You can enter in the giveaway by leaving a comment below.

(For giveaway rules see the Introduction)

Being a Titus 2 Woman - Working at Home

Today we are talking about the 5th virtue included in the Being a Titus 2 Woman series. This series is based off of the book Feminine Appeal, which shares 7 virtues of a Godly wife and mother from Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Now we have to remember that the goal of demonstrating these virtues in our lives is so "that the word of God may not be reviled." Also, we need to remember that we are sinners and we are going to fail at living out these virtues day in and day out. We need the grace of God and the Holy Spirit working in us and through us everyday!

Today we are talking about Working at Home. I need to start by saying that sometimes women are put in situations where they have no choice but to work outside of the home, examples may be a husband who refuses to work or is handicapped, or a divorcee trying to provide for her family, or a widower. In these situations, I want to encourage these women to embrace their role as the keeper of their home when they are able to be home.

Now, for me personally, I find this topic to be extremely freeing.

When we were first married, we both worked outside of the home. It was very stressful and messy, all the time! I personally could not handle the struggle to balance both arenas. My husband saw the struggle I had and decided to take on the role as the only provider of our house.

Since then I have experienced enormous freedom in my role as wife and keeper of our home. I am able to spend more time doing what I was created to do, being my husband's helper (Genesis 2:18). I was able to become such a better wife, because I wasn't being pulled in so many directions. I was able to put my full energy into managing our house, cleaning, cooking, organizing, planning, and so much more. I have been able to serve in local ministries sharing the God News.

Both my husband and I have never regretted the decision we made.

Since that time, not only have I experienced freedom in my role as wife and keeper of our home, but Michael has experienced a more defined role as husband and provider. He takes great pride in being the provider of our household and working hard for our family.

This decision has effected both of us very positively.

Another great thing this has done for us is prepared us to be parents. We already have the dynamics put in place to give our children what we want, mom at home educating and raising them, Dad providing for them.

Now, when I first started being a homemaker, I did not always get positive feedback. Here is what Carolyn has to say about that (pg. 100),

...Maybe you endure a constant barrage of advice from well-meaning relatives: "You are still young and have so much potential. You shouldn't be wasting all your talent by staying at home. You need to go out and make something of your life."

Author Danielle Crittenden notes that "whether it's the pleasure of being a wife or of raising children or of making a home - [these] were, until the day before yesterday, considered the most natural things in the world."

Being a wife and mother are natural things. Being at home and doing those things are equally as natural! Do not be discouraged by the world around us! We are called to be working in our homes. For me, that is an honor and a joy!

"Scripture is clear that men are responsible to be the providers for the home (1 Timothy 5:8), while women are responsible to be the caretakers of the home. Now the Bible does not say that wives and mothers are never allowed to work outside the four walls of their houses; nor does it preclude them from receiving wages for work...but never to the neglect of their families and homes" (pg.104). This is very important to remember! We are not chained to our homes, however, they are the main arena that we are to be working in.

The feminist movement has deceived us women into thinking that to be successful we must have this degree and/or this job and/or do this and this and this. Just because they say it doesn't make it right! We need to no longer be influenced by the world around us and instead be influenced by the Holy Spirit working in us and through God's Word.

Women, be encouraged! God has great work for us to do! Are you willing to do it, and do it with all your might?

What is one new skill you would like to acquire as a homemaker?

You can view all the posts in the series by visiting the Series Index.

For more information about the book, Feminine Appeal, visit Crossway, our series Partner.

You can enter in the giveaway by leaving a comment below.

(For giveaway rules see the Introduction)

Being a Titus 2 Woman - Purity

Today we are talking about the 4th virtue included in the Being a Titus 2 Woman series. This series is based off of the book Feminine Appeal, which shares 7 virtues of a Godly wife and mother from Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Now we have to remember that the goal of demonstrating these virtues in our lives is so "that the word of God may not be reviled." Also, we need to remember that we are sinners and we are going to fail at living out these virtues day in and day out. We need the grace of God and the Holy Spirit working in us and through us everyday!

Today we are talking about Purity. Let's start right out with an opening quote from Carolyn (pg. 81),

If you watch TV, go to the movies, or read magazines today, you can get the idea that the only people having sex (or "good sex") are the ones who aren't married. If marital sex is even portrayed in popular media, it seems bland and routine. Our culture has pushed marital sex into the backroom and instead celebrates immoral sex.

That's why younger women today require the training of older, godly women to acquire a biblical perspective on sex.

This is an area in our culture that is infiltrating our Christian homes and hurting marriages everywhere! We, as christian women, need to remember that we not to conform to this world (Romans 12:2, Colossians 2:8)! We should be seeing marital sex as the great honor and pleasure that it is, because "...God intends for us to experience tremendous joy and satisfaction when we express our sexuality within the confines of marriage" (pg. 82).

In this chapter, Carolyn takes us through a brief tour of the Bible to see what God has to say about sex:

• It was God's idea, it was not created by man (Genesis 2:21-25).
• It is fashioned for marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-9).
• It is intended for pleasure (Song of Solomon 5:4).
• It is designed for intimacy (Genesis 4:1, emphasis on knew).
• It is created for procreation (Genesis 1:27-28).
  

"God's grand design is that a husband and wife unabashedly enjoy sexual union within marriage, for His glory" (pg. 85). What a wonderful design!

Now, some of you reading this have sinned in the past in the realm of purity. I have. When I was first married, I didn't think that I could have this wonderfully designed union in the bedroom, because of my past sin. However, that is not God's design! With His help, we can have honorable, pleasurable sex with our husbands, the way that He designed it!

We are forgiven, and we need to live like we are! We do not need to be hindered or held back, we have freedom in Christ (Galatians 5:1)! We need to let go of the hold that sin has on us and no longer be slaves to our sin but instead embrace the life we have in Christ.

Or maybe, you were raised to think that sex is sinful, you only heard bad things about it. There is hope for you too! Christ has designed this wonderful union for us in marriage. He created sex. He created you to give your husband pleasure in a godly way! We can see God's design for sex so clearly in the Song of Solomon, please take the time to read this thoroughly and let go of what is holding you back and find joy in the sexual union you have with your husband!

Please remember that it is only through Jesus that we can find freedom from our sins. We cannot do this alone! "God does not "prevent" our conflict with sin. Rather He directs us to draw upon His inexhaustible supply of grace so that we can resist sexual temptation and grow in purity" (pg. 88).

In closing I want to share another quote from Carolyn (pg. 84),

Marital sex is the pinnacle of human bonding. It is the highest form of the communication of love - a language that expresses love without words. It calls forth the deepest, most powerful emotions. It creates intimacy within marriage like nothing else.

For more resource, visit Jess from Making Home who did a great 5 part series titled Being "Sexy" for Your Husband?, she has also wrote many other times on the subject of Sexuality and the Bible.

Do you think your husband would describe you as consistently available and eager for lovemaking? Why or why not? If not, what excuses are you tempted to give? What happens when you are eager and available?

You can view all the posts in the series by visiting the Series Index.

For more information about the book, Feminine Appeal, visit Crossway, our series Partner.

You can enter in the giveaway by leaving a comment below.

(For giveaway rules see the Introduction)

Being a Titus 2 Woman - Self-Control

Today we are talking about the 3rd virtue included in the Being a Titus 2 Woman series. This series is based off of the book Feminine Appeal, which shares 7 virtues of a Godly wife and mother from Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Now we have to remember that the goal of demonstrating these virtues in our lives is so "that the word of God may not be reviled." Also, we need to remember that we are sinners and we are going to fail at living out these virtues day in and day out. We need the grace of God and the Holy Spirit working in us and through us everyday!

Today we are talking about Self-Control. Whew! I am nervous already! A few weeks ago, I told you about my struggle lately with self-control (Sometimes, I am THE HULK) and my words. Now, I am going to be sharing about self-control...Yikes! Upfront, I just need to say that this is not an area I am great at. However, I am striving to grow in this virtue! And this book gave me a lot of great wisdom about the topic!

Why is self-control important? Carolyn answers that on pg.64,

Self-control is what we need in order to say no to sinful desires, what we need to follow through on godly desires. Self-control will enable us to meet those goals, decline that chocolate cake, and resist the temptation to lash out at our child.

Ahhh...so that is why it is so important! Self-control is what helps us grow in our walk with Christ. Self-control helps us to live out a Godly life, saying no to sin and yes to Holiness! This is a very important virtue! That is probably why it is also a Fruit of the Spirit! Self-control should be a virtue that every Christian is displaying in their life!

Now, "self-control doesn't just happen. We can't adopt the indifferent attitude "let go and let God" and expect magically to become self-controlled. Self-control requires effort. However, development of this quality is not solely dependent upon us. We cannot acquire this virtue by our own strength. It is only as we cooperate with the power of the Holy Spirit that we will achieve self-control" (pg. 65). If I try to become self-controlled by myself, I will fail. It is only through Christ that I can even begin to achieve this virtue.

For a starting point, Carolyn says (pg.67) we need to realize our sinful desires,

The first step in constructing this wall of self-control is to acknowledge one simple yet hideous fact about ourselves: We like to sin! This may not be easy to concede, but it's true...Admitting to these ungodly delights is the starting point in our quest for self-control...When we recognize self-control as the virtue that spares us from sin's negative consequences, we will welcome it eagerly as our friend.

Having self-control will help us to say no to sinful desires, and in doing so, we will also be saying no to the consequences of that sin.

So, instead of getting rude with my husband when I am upset and demeaning him and showing him disrespect, I could use self-control. I would realize I was getting upset, choose to not talk until I calm down (Therefore, not sinning), then not say things that would hurt my husband to the core (Not suffering the consequence).

I need to welcome self-control into my life with open arms!!! How about you?

In this chapter, Carolyn also talks about our eating habits, sleeping habits, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. It is packed full of great wisdom!

For more resource, visit June who did a great post about self-control, titled Self Government of the Tongue.

Imagine that your family dared you to live without one thing for an entire week. How many days do you think you would last?

You can view all the posts in the series by visiting the Series Index.

For more information about the book, Feminine Appeal, visit Crossway, our series Partner.

You can enter in the giveaway by leaving a comment below.

(For giveaway rules see the Introduction)

My 12th Verse

My 12th verse that I am going to memorize as part of the LPM Scripture Memory Team is Romans 8:15:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”